Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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