She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
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Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
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