Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
