I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Randomize
