I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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