You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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