I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
You ate ashes out of my bong
Randomize
