When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
How drunk are you?
Completed.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize