dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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