Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
