at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
