dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
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