you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Randomize
