So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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