hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
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