When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
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