How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
