it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Randomize
