real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
