we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
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