carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
