There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
My vagina is very pro this idea
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