I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
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