i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
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