all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
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