swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize