Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Randomize
