We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
