CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Randomize
