we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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