I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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