went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
