Kareoke will never be a sober sport
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Randomize
