absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Randomize
