im drinking this country out of the recession.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
you will always have a special place in my vag
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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