i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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