I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Randomize
