MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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