Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
