But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
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