She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
