I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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