I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
