Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
