Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Randomize
