What a fucking waste of an outfit
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
