I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Randomize
