New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Randomize
