What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
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Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
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Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
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