Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Randomize
