She tied me up with her honor cords...
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
I'm always down for nudity.
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