Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
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