Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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