This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Randomize