whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
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