well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
she told me i tasted like america
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
