I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
