there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Randomize
